With the onset of new sessions all around the globe in the coming days, I bet all the students must be prepping up real hard to embark the most adventurous journey of their lifetime.
Uni life is a great teacher. It just evolves you as a person. People have all sorts of experience whilst they are at university and once such experience is a “BREAK UP”. We are all aware that university plays the role of a cupid for a lot of students; some succeed and find their true love whereas some are not so lucky. I bet all of us have been a part of a university break up either directly or indirectly.
In this blog post I would like to talk about the indirect break ups, i.e. where your friends are victims of it. In my university life, I experienced a very unusual thing, people used to be very secretive about their relationship if they were dating within the same friend circle. At first it was a bit difficult for me to grab this concept but I understood the reason for their discretion with time.
Students used to be very secretive about their relationships within the same friend circle and the reason they gave for this was that if things didn’t work out as planned it would affect the friendship of the whole group. At first I never believed that a relationship between two people can become so important that it tends to control the strength of the whole group. But after experiencing quite a few indirect break ups myself, I can very well relate with this fear.
I have witnessed a lot of indirect break ups right from my first year till my final year at university and to be very honest with you all being indirectly involved in a break up can be quite nerve wrecking. Witnessing a break up within the same friend circle can bring a great deal of awkwardness and a series of cancellation of plans. It becomes a lot more difficult for the other friends as you are expected to pick sides and when you do favour one of your friend it can very well jeopardise your relationship with other friend. Sometimes I feel we do not behave mature enough and take unwise decisions.
I remember that the biggest mistake I did when I experienced the first break up within my group of friends in my fresher year was that that I chose my side very easily and now when I look back and think about it, I feel that I was very biased in taking that decision. And the consequence of it was that I lost a very good friend of mine. Though we still are in touch now but I know the things would have been way better if I would have not picked any side and played it neutral. Our decisions should not be taken in the heat of the moment nor should be taken to please anyone.
Now that I am mature enough to take wise decisions without getting influenced by anyone it feels quite depressing when I now see some of my university friends breaking up. There is a pattern on how things shape up post break-up. Firstly, you will notice that certain people are blocked from Facebook and other social media networks. Secondly, when some people chose their sides they blame the other person in question for everything and boycott the other friend from all the in group activities, which I feel is very mean. Even if the boycott doesn’t happen, the awkwardness is at such a level that the ex-couple give the weirdest excuses to avoid attending any social gathering where they can come face to face, which ultimately leads to cancellation of various group plans.
The only advice which I would like to give my readers, who can experience this at any point of their life, is that DON’T PICK SIDES. The problem happened between the couple and those two should be the ones who should face the consequences. You are a third person and you have no idea of what actually went wrong between that couple because what normally happens is that we do not bother to listen to both the sides of the story, we content ourselves with a single sided view, which leads to a biased opinion. The friend that you are boycotting didn’t do anything bad to you. I am aware that it is easier said than done because no matter whether you are going to pick sides or not, you are going to hurt someones feelings as people do expect certain actions from your side. Hence, these decisions should be taken wisely.
By taking a neutral stand people may call you diplomatic but I feel its a lot better than losing a friend. Its better to follow the policy of “Live and Let Live” as we are no one to comment upon someone’s personal life. I feel that your individual equation with both of your friends should be the guide for your actions. If someone has not done anything wrong to you then you should not do anything bad to that person as well. But we all learn these things with time because you are never too sure that what decision you would take in that heat of the moment.
I hope that you all can relate to this blog post as I shared a very small yet very important incident which I am pretty sure most of us has experienced at some point of time.